Carlos Bacca is a bit like a man who has recently bought a multipack of Hula-Hoops from the supermarket. He ate all the BBQ ones first, obviously, then he moved on to cheese and onion because they are his second favourite, followed by salt and vinegar. And now all that’s left is Original. Boring, uninspired, but -ultimately – better than nothing. So he’ll just eat them anyway. And this is good news for West Ham.
Even though the Colombian striker clearly has no particular desire to join the Hammers, his other options are running out fast. The Mirror reports that Paris Saint-Germain are the latest club to pull out of the race to sign Bacca because they already have four non-EU players, following a similar decision by Sevilla last week.
Atletico Madrid are Bacca’s BBQ flavour Hula-Hoops, but the Mirror adds that he is only their “Plan B” if they don’t get Diego Costa. So the 29-year-old might just be left munching on the least exciting crisps of all in east London next season.
Jose Mourinho’s arrival at Manchester United looks set to signal the predictable demise of all the club’s promising young players, with the Sun reporting that the manager is set to offload seven Old Trafford starlets.
James Wilson, Tyler Blackett, Adnan Januzaj, Will Keane, Cameron Borthwick-Jackson and Paddy McNair are all said to be surplus to requirements because they are too young for Mourinho’s tastes. Meanwhile, Bastian Schweinsteiger will be shown the door for being too old.
Ben Chilwell signing a new contract at Leicester could have terrible repercussions at Liverpool, who the Telegraph reports may be forced to employ James Milner as an emergency left-back after missing out on the Foxes teenager.
Arsenal are set to make an “improved” offer for Lyon striker Alexandre Lacazette but they will not go higher than £33.7m because Arsene Wenger doesn’t want to pay more than Chelsea did for Michy Batshuayi (Squawka). Sounds silly, but also very Wenger.
Elsewhere, Sunderland have been linked with a move for £20m-rated Benfica winger Eduardo Salvio (Sunderland Echo), Marlos Moreno is on the verge of an £8m move from Atletico Nacional to Manchester City (Mail) and Swansea may make a £3m move for 35-year-old Stoke striker Peter Crouch (South Wales Evening Post).
A Crouchy-Bafetimbi Gomis strike force could be something to behold next season, especially if they combine their robot and panther goal celebrations (although one of them would need to score for that to work).